The 3:00 AM Review: "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"

Note: In an attempt to fill my blog with content, I am reposting my "Wolverine" review, which I posted on Facebook at 3:26 AM on May 1, 2009. For more information on my theatrical movie reviewing, please consult the "Project Summer: An Introduction" review above.

So, you're 20th Century Fox. You have a very lucrative X-Men movie franchise, but you can't afford to shell the mega-bucks to reunite the A-list ensemble cast for X-Men 4. Solution? Devise as many X-Men-related spinoffs as you can. For their first effort, they've taken the easy route by developing a movie around the movies' most popular character, Wolverine. By re-enacting his origin story, they've created a guaranteed blockbuster to kick off the summer movie season. But how does it stack up? At the very least, Hugh Jackman does what he's expected to do here, giving audiences everything they expect from Wolverine. (The adamantium claws! The stogies! The sideburns!) For a Wolverine solo vehicle, he's come ready to play. (Plus, for the ladies, there's ample opportunities to swoon for Hugh, from the Obligatory Romantic Subplot scenes in Act 1 to a few moments of Wolverine streaking through the wilderness, complete with PG-13-level nudity.) As Logan's brother, Victor (aka Sabretooth), Liev Schreiber makes a good, intimidating villian, although his turn to the dark side isn't really justified. One minute, he's protecting his little kid brother, and the next, he's flipped the switch and attempts to massacre and rape the Vietnamese. Okey-dokey... As for the host of other mutants, most of which are making their first screen appearances: this movie doesn't overkill us with too many characters (*cough*The Last Stand*cough*), but hardly any of them are decently fleshed out, preventing them from actually making a significant impact to the movie. Example: Gambit (Taylor Kitsch, best know as Riggins on TV's Friday Night Lights) shows up, throws some cards in New Orleans, disappears right before the big action finale, and shows up briefly afterwards. If that weren't enough, most of the new mutants show up only to be murdered as part of Victor's evil rampage, so that doesn't help matters. Even the long-awaited appearance of Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) is underwhelming, as he bookends the movie with some ultimately insignificant contributions. Since this a summer blockbuster, you can rest assured that there's tons of action, from the opening credits (which depict Logan and Victor's many tours of duty throughout history) to a climax set at, of all places, Three Mile Island. There's so much fighting, exploding, and clawing to get the summer movie season started. The rare non-action sequences are a bit awkward, if only because the movie's tonal shifts don't work so well, namely the aforemented romance scenes and some bits that are played totally for laughts (such as Wolverine's bathroom scene and the Blob boxing scene). Probably the most disappointing thing about the movie is the ending: it just doesn't feel very satisfying, partially because it's a prequel (and therefore we know the fates of Wolverine and Stryker), partiallly because it resolves some 'X2' continuity in an awkward manner by giving Wolverine amnesia(!), and partially because it makes you say, 'That's it? That's all there is?' Basically, it's a flawed movie, but it's not horrible by any means, and it will get moviegoers by until the next X-Men movie. (Just as a disclaimer: I didn't think The Last Stand was a complete trainwreck, either. But it did have some flaws, that's for sure.) The real litmus test, audience-wise, is going to be the next X-Men flick; if Fox actually goes forward with the Magneto origin movie, will they pull off the first successful summer blockbuster about Auschwitz? We'll see. Until then, enjoy Wolverine! (P.S.: Why would adamantium bullets hurt Wolverine, if his skeleton is primarily adamantium itself? Hmm.) (P.P.S. Stick through the credits for two minor Easter eggs: the first appears shortly after the start of the end credits; the second shows up at the very, very end.)

(Note: After I wrote this review, I found out about the multiple Easter Egg after-credits scenes attached to various prints. For the record, I got the ending with Wolverine in Japan. I had to YouTube the Deadpool ending.)

Star Rating: 3 stars (out of 5)